Double Bomb Part 1

I don't even know where to begin today... Our week has been rather, um, eventful. Paige, our oldest, dropped a couple of different bombs on us this week and we're still trying to mentally catch up so I'll be doing this post in two parts.

James went and picked up the girls Christmas afternoon and we had Paige and Anne all week. Honestly, I love having them here so it's always great when we get them for extended periods of time. We had a house full of people until around 8 o'clock and then everyone settled into their respective spaces. Lena and Anne hauled up in there room to play with the new toys, James headed off to bed shortly after since he had to work the next morning, and I stayed up with Paige to visit for a bit.

I've mentioned before that I think she's a pretty amazing kid and I still think so. She confided in me Christmas night however that her and her boyfriend had done the deed. Or in her exact words "We ummmm... Yeah. You know? That."

In all truth, sex has been a pretty open topic in my household growing up, so it doesn't really phase me much. I've always been honest with Lena about the basics (no gory details), because I believe that when you make something into a huge deal then it becomes a huge deal. I know some parents would probably be horrified that I'm up front with my 11 year old about what sex is and how it happens. But in my personal opinion, I believe that if I make it into something shameful then later on down the road it will encourage her to keep secrets about whatever curiosities may strike her. I'd much rather she'd not be scared to approach me on the subject.

I feel sorta the same way with Paige. There's a huge exception though... I'm not technically her parent. I know and understand that she's 19 years old and that her and her boyfriend have been together almost 3 years now. Hearing it didn't make me uncomfortable because I know she's old enough to make that choice and it didn't happen with some weirdo she just met. Being the only person she told however, that put me in a rather tough spot. Mostly, I just listened to what she had to say and I gave her advice when she asked. All the while I'm busy thinking, how the hell does she think I won't tell her dad?

I let her know that I don't keep secrets from him and that she needed to fess up to him. I also strongly encouraged her to tell her mom. I told her that her dad won't be mad, that we just want her to be safe. However, Paige is scared of almost everything (which is what kept her waiting so long in the first place thankfully). She told me she knew she needed to tell them, but she doesn't want them to get mad at her. Paige does not do confrontation well with anyone, but especially her parents. Instead she hides things and pretends they don't exist. She does exactly what I'm trying to teach Lena not to do.

I gave her a full 24 hours to tell James before I told him he needed to go talk to her about her and the boyfriend.

The moment I mentioned it he already knew what she had to tell him. He looked straight at me and asked "It's sex, isn't it?" Well, I'm not going to lie... So I said yes. As I expected he wasn't mad at all. In fact, he went straight into our room and fished out the box of condoms we'd bought months ago for her when we figured she was getting close to being ready. Even though there was no yelling, no I'm disappointed, no retaliation of any kind, she stayed beat red and tight lipped about it. She admitted that it had happened and that was all he could get out of her. I guess at least it's out there and she knows if she needs to talk to him about it ever, she won't have to worry about losing her head.

Knowing however had now left James and I with some concerns. Usually Paige comes down on Thursday nights and her and the boyfriend spend Friday during the day together at our house while we're at work. Do we continue to allow this or do we put a halt to this now? Do we keep condoms stocked in the house or do we let it be their responsibility to get them? We're not really sure just yet. I'm fairly certain that they'll find a way whether we facilitate it or not, but the question is, if we make it safer her for her to do it or we really helping her or not? I don't know.