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Thursday, March 6, 2014

NO! I Will NOT Sign The Punishment "Behavioral" Contract the School Sent Home Today!


Dear Mrs. Teacher, Mrs. Principal, and Mrs. Student Councilor:

I apologize, but I will not be signing the behavioral contract that I received this evening that was sent home with Lena. There are several reasons why I am making this decision, despite my daughter's protest. For starters, I'm very well aware of the fact that there was an incident that occurred this week where several of the 5th grade students in Lena's class were being bullied via Instagram. She came home extremely upset the other day because one of her friends was a target of this horrific behavior. Initially when I saw that there was a letter stapled to her assignment notebook, I assumed it was a notification to the parents regarding this matter. I must say that I am absolutely shocked that instead of communicating what is happening in the classroom we are sent home a contract asking for blanket permission to punish our children however you see fit to in the moment based on extremely broad and undefined expectations. 

I am even more disturbed by this because it states that parents will be contacted after the child has received the chosen consequences. Which I have trouble believing will happen anyway. For example: Lena has already received one of the consequences on this list this week. She admits that she failed to complete an assignment as expected and therefore had to forfeit recess in order to finish it. While I absolutely agree with this choice, there has certainly been no contact with me what so ever regarding this matter. 

In fact, I have not been contacted about anything this year. The only communication I have received about anything is a check box on her progress reports that come home every few months. It has been me who has reached out to the school asking for more information when the box was marked "needs improvement", not the school reaching out to me to let me know my child needs help. We parents are not in the classroom and therefore we rely on the school to communicate with us when something is going on with our children there. If the school is willing to let our kids fall behind for months at a time academically, I have an extremely hard time believing that communication will be forthcoming regarding their behavior. Especially since in my personal experience, just this week, the school has already failed to uphold a "promise" in the contract. 

I am extremely lucky that Lena is honest with me about what goes on even when she knows there may be additional repercussions here at home for misbehavior at school. Even when she told me about missing recess this week, I defended Mrs. Teacher’s choice and told her that if she doesn't complete her work then she should miss recess. However, there have been times when she's been clipped down for things that were not even her fault, such as when I forgot to sign her assignment notebook due to one of the many 2 hour delays that we've had this season. I don't get a two hour delay from work and it slipped my mind, yet my daughter received the punishment for my actions. 

Personally speaking, I've always disagreed with the "clip" system at Lake Prairie. I feel it publicly embarrasses our children in front of their peers and this certainly isn't the appropriate way to discipline children. When you embarrass, degrade, and diminish children (especially in front of their friends) this only leads to increased anxiety which perpetuates the cycle of bad behavior. The clip system has been in place all year and based on the fact that the contract was sent home, evidently this method isn't working. 

I have been a Lake Prairie mom for many years and at the end of the day I have a great appreciation for everything this school has been for and done for my daughter. However, the letter attached to the contract did not have one positive thing to say about the students. The long list of negative comments struck me in a way that I simply couldn't let go. I fully expect that Lena will not be clipped down or punished in any way for my decision. I do not want her involved in this in anyway, which is why I chose to send an email rather than a note. Should you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me directly. 

Sincerely,
Laura Stephenson

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