I'm Going Back on ACE Weight Loss

I have always struggled with my weight. If you've been a reader of mine for a while, then you know over the past few months I have been trying to get it back under control again. I've tried Jillian Michaels - 30 Day Shred (personally I think she's a sadist),Wii Active Personal Trainer (my personal favorite), removing all junk food from the house, living off of Lean Cuisine meals, and even dragging my children out for a 2 mile walk in the snow and so far, I haven't lost a single freaking pound!

I came to the conclusion long ago that I have no natural metabolism. I'm not certain why that is, but I can tell you that every woman in my family (with the exception of one lucky sister) suffers from the same issue. We're all short and round. And we're not talking cute Pillsbury Dough Boy round, we're talking Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man round!

I have never wanted and/or expected to look like a Victoria's Secret model or anything, but I would prefer not to be out of breath while doing simple things like taking a walk around the block or switching loads of laundry.

A few years ago my cousin had started losing weight like crazy (again, we're all short and round in this family). We usually see her about once a month or so and the transformation that she had gone through in such a short amount of time got my attention really quick. Turns out, she had started taking a supplement called A.C.E. After seeing what it had done for her, I had her help me order some for myself as well.

After only 3 months of being on it I lost approximately 50 lbs! It helped give me the energy I needed to go out and do things and most importantly it helped control my appetite. I admit that I'm a binge eater. I will go most of the day without being hungry and then the moment I get bored, I look for something to eat and then end up consuming ridiculous amounts of crap that I should not be shoving in my face in the first place.

For the longest time I was doing well maintaining my weight without it. It had given me the jump-start I had needed and had gotten my body in habit of actually burning calories instead of storing them like a polar bear. I was active and I felt good in my own skin for the first time in forever! 

I've been off of it now for almost 3 years and in this last year the weight has gradually been creeping back on. But it wasn't until back in January when James made a comment about how I used to look better that it really hit me how badly I had let it spiral out of control again. That's when I had made the decision to get serious about it again and believe me, I have been trying, but nothing seems to be working at this point.

So this week, I decided it was time to go back to the one thing I have EVER found that works for me. I'm going back on A.C.E. because I need help. I just can't do this on my own and that's okay.

Siblings are a Blessing and Occasionally a Curse

I have an insane number of siblings! If you count the bunch to the left, you'll see that there's a total of 9 of us. I could bore you with the details of which kids belong to which set of parents but it's hard enough for me to keep track of it all, let alone for someone without an emotional investment in the group. That being said, I'll spare you the genealogy lesson.

I have always been extremely proud of my younger minions siblings and I've loved having them in my life. They have defined a lot of who I am and how I see the world. When you look at life through 8 different personalities and 16 additional eyes you tend to get a really broad view of what's really important and what's not. But not every moment in my relationships with them have been smooth sailing. Sometimes, quit frankly, they've annoyed the piss out of me.

One of my sisters managed to accomplish that last night. See, some of them live close and some of them live far. The one's that live nearby have a tendency to randomly show up on my doorstep from time to time. I never mind. I like that they want to stop over and hang with their big sis, but I mean it when I say different personalities. Not a single one of us is exactly alike and that means that sometimes we have different views on things. For instance, with this whole not being a fat slob trying to live healthier journey I've started my household on.

James made the silly mistake of mentioning it to her when she was busy looking through our kitchen for a snack. Being in nursing school she felt overly compelled to share her opinions on the subject. To use a cliche here, Rome was not built in a day. I'm not expecting to move a mountain in less than a week. I'm just trying to introduce and guide my family in making some healthier choices at the moment. You know, baby steps? However, the mere mention somehow morphed into a complete nuclear attack on the eating/exercise decisions we've made.

"Well, if you're going to be healthy you have to stop buying white bread. It's terrible for you and that will need to go!" Ummm...

"You really need to join my gym with me. You don't have any excuse not to. It's only an extra hour out of your day." Well, my dear, you don't have kids. When I get a grand total of 4 hours a night at home, I will not be giving an hour of it to the gym. Me and Wii are getting along just fine thank you.

"Your diet has always been complete garbage and a lot of that is how much pop you drink." I'm fully aware that pop is not good for you. I get it. That's why I limit myself to one 12oz can a day.

Ultimately, I'm very aware that I haven't always made perfect decisions. If I didn't know this, I wouldn't be making any attempts to change anything. And it's very easy for all 110 lbs of her with her magical metabolism to sit in judgement of my decisions. News flash though my precious one from the lucky side of the gene pool... I don't however plan on halting all the joy in life (it's a little obvious I have a bit of a food addiction, okay?) just so I can be thinner. I just want to feel better and I want my family to feel better. No more, no less.

Most days things are like this between me and my siblings....

And some days... Well... They're just not.

No More Excuses

My alone time is coming to an end sadly. I have about 20 minutes before Lena gets home from school and my "me day" is officially closed. ::sigh::

I caught up on all my blog reading, watched my shows that have been stacking up on the DVR, talked to my step-mom for over an hour on the phone, and while I originally said I wasn't going to get out of my jammies... I did. As I sat on my couch vegging out to Revenge, I decided that the Wii has been sitting in the living room for over a week and I had yet to touch it.

After waiting so long to see it restored and using the excuse of it being in the kids room for a serious lack of motivation on my part, I figured I should take today's opportunity to do what I've been avoiding. Frankly, I need to stop making excuses and get my ass off the couch. I kept insisting that the Wii would provide me a semi embarrassment free way to work out. That part is true, but I no longer have the excuse of it being in the girls' room to not to use it.

I tried several months back to do the 30 Day Shred and I'm sorry, but my out of shape fat ass just wasn't ready to start out that way. I'm a wuss and will be the first one to admit I'll give up almost immediately if I'm in even an ounce of pain. I know this about myself and I accept it. However, EA Active is really low pressure and a great way to begin if you're a flake like me when it comes to exercise.

So I sucked it up today and started the 6 Week Challenge again. I know it's a program I'm capable of following. I just sorta stopped following it and ended up gaining back everything I lost a couple years ago. Guess it's a good thing I never tossed out my fat girl pants huh?

I added a ticker to my right side bar. If you don't see it counting, please feel free to harass me about. Ah, well, here we go again....

And so I begin... Again.