Yesterday I Was "Nowhere Near It"

It's not even 7:30 and our house is already in full swing. James was off to work at 4am and the girls are getting showered and ready to head to the "Back to School Party" at our little POA. There are things I both love and hate about living in a little town. The little events our neighborhood hosts for the kids around here is one of those things that I love. It's never anything fancy, but it gives the kids a chance to feel independent. They get to hop on their bikes and leave the parental units behind as they had off for a couple of authority free hours (save the community volunteers) and just hang out with their friends. Best of all... Mommy gets a break on Saturday morning.

I didn't bother posting yesterday because I was down right crabby. James has been taking Nyquil to try and smoother the cold he caught from the kids last weekend and it makes sleeping in the same bed as him rather unpleasant. For starters, it makes him sweat like a leaking faucet. For the past few nights I've been waking up moist. My skin feels like I just ran through the mist of a sprinkler and not in a good way. I've also been kicked, elbowed, had the covers stolen, and my side of the bed has constantly been invaded by his wayward legs. He's also started talking in his sleep. I've always loved that he's hardworking and dedicated to his job. But this man is literally dreaming of work.

My serious lack of sleep set the stage for a "I'm not taking your sh*t today!" attitude at work. I'd posted before about a co-worker of mine and her tendency to get, shall we say, sassy with me. In all truth, personally speaking, I like her. I think that we could be great friends outside of work. Professionally speaking however, it can be a little like oil and water. If you shake the bottle, we'll mix. It's the perfect cocktail for cooking up some really productive ideas and actions for our marketing. But, after a little while goes by, we settle and separate. It was really rocky a couple months ago when our manager made the decision to put me in charge of the marketing department. I never wanted her job, but I got it. Even through all of the resistance I got, I think we make a damn good team. Last month was the first month since I've been with the company that all 7 of our stores beat last year's number at the same time. We've always had one or two each month, but never all of them. We really over hauled all of our traditional marketing. I won't take all the credit for it though. We did it together. We got side by side in the trenches and poured our hearts into it full speed ahead. Yesterday however, she pulled a 180 on me and it just wasn't the right day to throw a tantrum. I simply didn't have the patience. At the end of the day, it's my butt on the line and her withholding important information about the projects we have in the works just isn't going to fly.

By the time I left work I was completely in defense mode. We have a birthday lunch today for Jame's brother at his parents' house and we were put in charge of making the homemade bread. I told him Tuesday when he mentioned it that we only have one bread pan, to which he responded "Okay." Then as I'm driving home last night he tells me that I need to get two more bread pans because we need three loaves for today. Poor guy, I chomped his head off. I work right near Bed Bath & Beyond (and I'm my sister's shopping buddy so I get to use the 20% employee discount) and was fuming that he didn't tell me this while I was actually near the store so I didn't have to make an extra trip. This leads back around to one of things I hate about living in a little town. We're a good half hour away from everything. There's no quick trips to the store. It's a big part of the reason we'll be moving next summer. But I'm getting off topic here... All I wanted to do yesterday was go home, put on my jammie pants, be lazy, and decompress. Nope, no such luck. However, on a normal day, I would just have said "no problem hunnie, you get the girls and Lena and I will handle the bread pans." Instead I chastised him for it because he "should have mentioned this Tuesday when I brought it up!"

I did get the bread pans. I did "accidentally" stop at the mall for some retail therapy and get a new pair of jeans that I was desperate need of. Most importantly though... I did end up apologizing for being a GIANT Sebastian. Thank goodness that man loves me through thick and thin. I'm grateful for him every day and I don't know what I'd do without him. He's my rock in all the chaos that comes with the everyday life of a working mom.

Parade and a Meltdown

The day started out wonderful. We got up this morning, had our coffee in peace while the children slept on. Then proceeded to go to the parade.

As I mentioned earlier, Lena and Anne have both been coughing this weekend. However, Lena has it way worse. She's stuck in that horrible in between phase right now where she's not big, but she's not little. Last time she got sick it was an argument getting her to take the liquid cough medicine. She wanted a pill because she's "not a baby anymore MOM!" 

So this time when I went to Walgreen's I grabbed her the liquid gels instead. Turns out that ended up being a knock down drag out fight today that I ended up losing in the end. She was terrified to swallow it. She kept insisting she was going to choke if she had to take it. Of course, this pissed me off. Those things certainly are not cheap and we're working on a limited income at the moment.

I certainly didn't put my best mommy foot forward because I ended up yelling at my scared sick little girl. What I should have done it just gone back up to Walgreen's right away and bought the liquid. What I should have done was comfort her when she wasn't feeling good. Instead, I tried to force her to take it. This only brought her to tears, made me look like a monster, and didn't end up helping her cough at all.

Thank goodness for James being my voice of reason. After a good half hour battle he pulled me out into the garage and told me what a grade A moron I was being. He reminded me that the point was to help make her feel better, not worse.

Total mom failure today on my part really. In all truth, I originally had the children's liquid in my hand because I already knew this could potentially happen. Silly me, I listened to my 10 year old and got what she wanted and not what I knew she needed. He ended up going into town, getting the liquid, and then I proceeded to lay on the couch with her for the last 3 hours watching movies and cuddling to make up for my previous lack of empathy. I guess I know better next time.

I'm Venting... You've Been Warned

I must admit I'm ever so grateful this weekend is over and I'm back at work where I can get a break! I confess though, that I was a complete raging bitch crab for most of this week and it all came to a head this weekend.

Since about mid November our weekends have been filled with family obligations and I'm not exactly sure where that leaves time for our little family of five. Every weekend has been dedicated to either my family or his family, but not our family. It was building up for a while and this weekend I basically snapped.

I had plans with my sister on Saturday to take Lena dress shopping for the Daddy Daughter Dance next Friday (not that her father has been to a single one, but it's still a big event). This is year number 4, Uncle Steve is her most handsome date, and every year we make a day of going to the mall, trying on dresses, going out to lunch, picking out shoes, etc. You know, all the fun things that come with being a girl. However, Friday night it gets sprung on me that we have a dinner event that we're supposed to attend with James' parents... In Elburn... A good 2 1/2 drive away from home for us. This was pretty much the final straw for me.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore his parents. They're two of the nicest people in the world you could ever hope to meet. But this game of rotating weekends has left me exhausted and feeling extremely overwhelmed at this point. I just wanted to enjoy dress shopping with my daughter. I told him that I didn't really want to go, however, turns out we were already paid for so there was simply no backing out.

We did manage to find a dress and the perfect shoes, but I still felt like I didn't get to fully enjoy the day because we had to rush and be home by 3 in order to get on the road up north. Ugh!

All and all though we did have fun at the dinner despite the fact that we didn't get home until about 11:30 which is WAY past my bedtime.

Sunday morning comes and I haven't even finished my first cup of coffee when my mother sends me a text letting me know her and dad are coming down for coffee. Oh boy! Here we go! About 10 minutes later they show up and at this point the kids are awake and starving as per usual. Sunday breakfast is kind of a big deal in our house. I love to make a big breakfast. My mom on the other hand tries to send Paige (she's James' oldest who's 18) back down to her house to fetch a bunch of microwavable breakfast sandwiches. I'm sorry, but yuck!

All three girls are looking at me pleadingly not to skip making the waffles I'd promised, so of course I had to tell my mom NO. That never goes over well. I did end up making the waffles, but of course my mom felt it was necessary to give the girls a major guilt trip about "making me cook when I didn't have to." News flash mama, I like it! But that doesn't seem to matter much I suppose.

As I'm finishing up feeding everyone (parents included) James announces that him and my dad are going to go up to Gander Mountain (he'd won a $50 gift card in the raffle the night before) which left me with all three kids and all the cleaning because I knew they would be heading straight over to their house for the Super Bowl later. They ended up returning a couple hours beforehand and he did initially plan to just go spend the day down the street. Wrong!! By the time they'd returned I was in full swing cleaning mode and had started literally pulling the house apart because I felt far too claustrophobic and it was going to be fixed now not later.

He ended up helping me gut our room, but after that I was on my own. I did however make the kids his responsibility for the evening so I could turn the stereo up to eardrum splitting level with all the Nickelback and Buckcherry I can't listen to with the kids around. I continued to clean until I wore myself out, picked up Lena (Paige and Anne had already been taken home to their mom at that point) and ended my night with Finding Nemo (incidently a truck coming down our street tore down the cable line Friday night so DVD was are only option all weekend) and a MASSIVE apology for my behavior when he finally come home.

Oops... Better luck this week I hope.