Double Bomb Part 1

I don't even know where to begin today... Our week has been rather, um, eventful. Paige, our oldest, dropped a couple of different bombs on us this week and we're still trying to mentally catch up so I'll be doing this post in two parts.

James went and picked up the girls Christmas afternoon and we had Paige and Anne all week. Honestly, I love having them here so it's always great when we get them for extended periods of time. We had a house full of people until around 8 o'clock and then everyone settled into their respective spaces. Lena and Anne hauled up in there room to play with the new toys, James headed off to bed shortly after since he had to work the next morning, and I stayed up with Paige to visit for a bit.

I've mentioned before that I think she's a pretty amazing kid and I still think so. She confided in me Christmas night however that her and her boyfriend had done the deed. Or in her exact words "We ummmm... Yeah. You know? That."

In all truth, sex has been a pretty open topic in my household growing up, so it doesn't really phase me much. I've always been honest with Lena about the basics (no gory details), because I believe that when you make something into a huge deal then it becomes a huge deal. I know some parents would probably be horrified that I'm up front with my 11 year old about what sex is and how it happens. But in my personal opinion, I believe that if I make it into something shameful then later on down the road it will encourage her to keep secrets about whatever curiosities may strike her. I'd much rather she'd not be scared to approach me on the subject.

I feel sorta the same way with Paige. There's a huge exception though... I'm not technically her parent. I know and understand that she's 19 years old and that her and her boyfriend have been together almost 3 years now. Hearing it didn't make me uncomfortable because I know she's old enough to make that choice and it didn't happen with some weirdo she just met. Being the only person she told however, that put me in a rather tough spot. Mostly, I just listened to what she had to say and I gave her advice when she asked. All the while I'm busy thinking, how the hell does she think I won't tell her dad?

I let her know that I don't keep secrets from him and that she needed to fess up to him. I also strongly encouraged her to tell her mom. I told her that her dad won't be mad, that we just want her to be safe. However, Paige is scared of almost everything (which is what kept her waiting so long in the first place thankfully). She told me she knew she needed to tell them, but she doesn't want them to get mad at her. Paige does not do confrontation well with anyone, but especially her parents. Instead she hides things and pretends they don't exist. She does exactly what I'm trying to teach Lena not to do.

I gave her a full 24 hours to tell James before I told him he needed to go talk to her about her and the boyfriend.

The moment I mentioned it he already knew what she had to tell him. He looked straight at me and asked "It's sex, isn't it?" Well, I'm not going to lie... So I said yes. As I expected he wasn't mad at all. In fact, he went straight into our room and fished out the box of condoms we'd bought months ago for her when we figured she was getting close to being ready. Even though there was no yelling, no I'm disappointed, no retaliation of any kind, she stayed beat red and tight lipped about it. She admitted that it had happened and that was all he could get out of her. I guess at least it's out there and she knows if she needs to talk to him about it ever, she won't have to worry about losing her head.

Knowing however had now left James and I with some concerns. Usually Paige comes down on Thursday nights and her and the boyfriend spend Friday during the day together at our house while we're at work. Do we continue to allow this or do we put a halt to this now? Do we keep condoms stocked in the house or do we let it be their responsibility to get them? We're not really sure just yet. I'm fairly certain that they'll find a way whether we facilitate it or not, but the question is, if we make it safer her for her to do it or we really helping her or not? I don't know.

My Amazing Teenager

I am incredibly grateful for Paige this morning! She really saved our rear-ends. Lately, she's been coming down to our house on Thursday nights since she has to work weekends. When we take her to work on Saturday she goes home afterward since she has to work again on Sunday. Living an hour from James' girls is extremely less than convenient (I can't wait till we move closer this summer), but we've managed to find a way to make it work.

This morning, it was seriously a life saver that she was here. Lena is currently on her choir tour today to all the schools in town and the library. I made sure she showered last night, I blow dried her hair so it would be easier to straighten in the morning, and we laid out her required outfit. Literally as we're getting ready to walk out the door, Lena freezes in her tracks, and tells me "Oh mom! I forgot! I need a lunch today." Most people would think this was obvious, however she's a hot lunch kid. I don't ever make her a lunch really. I just deposit money into her account every payday and then it's one less thing I have to worry about. Well... She won't be at school today for lunch, i.e. she needed a sack lunch. Ummm... SHIT!

 I've mentioned several times before that neither Lena nor myself are exactly morning people and that she's also terribly distracted constantly. We're always rushing out the door at the last possible moment and pulling up to the stop as the bus gets there (or sometimes after the bus gets there and then we rush two more stops up and do a drive-by shove out let her get on with Luke instead). Even with all my preparation the night before, this morning was really no different than the others. There simply was just not time to make her this lunch that she failed to mention to me in the last two weeks. Coincidentally, she had also lost the sheet that came home with all details I would need. Frankly, she's lucky she had pants!

But I'm getting off track here... At that moment, I was faced with either A) being late to work to make this lunch and then drive her into school OR B) I could wake up Paige and ask her to drive Lena into school. Keep in mind folks, were talking about a teenager here, and her ability to sleep is one that I envy and miss greatly. Typically, we don't have her help out with the kids because she does enough of that at her other home (there are 6 kids in total there). We believe in our house she should be the kid and not a co-parent. I did end up waking up Paige though, this was an emergency after all, and thank the freaking gods she was willing and hell, even happy to help me out of this jam.

I kissed both my girls goodbye and dashed out the door. I made it to work with two minutes to spare thanks to Paige. She's one amazing kid and I'm grateful for her always, but especially today!

Dear Teenagers

Dear Teenagers:

I'm not entirely certain what caused you to yell to me and several other motorists on my trek home from work today. Upon seeing your license plate as you pulled up to harass the next vehicle in line it occurred to me that you are mostly likely seriously misguided. The definition of Ghetto is as follows: a part of a city, especially a slum area, occupied by a minority group or groups. Seeing as how you were four white kids, driving around in a car most likely purchased by Mr. Fabulous' parents since I highly doubt a job flipping burgers somewhere could pay for that, in Schererville (which certainly doesn't meet the requirements of a slum)... I think it's pretty safe to say that someone has misplaced their dictionary. I highly recommend that you pick up a book prior to sending in for personalized license plates when you don't actually know the meaning of the word. It is no way cool or trendy to stamp I'm an uneducated moron on the back of your vehicle for all to see. 

And I'm sorry, but I do have to ask, what parent allows their child to get such plates on the back of the car they're obviously paying for? It may be just me, but this somehow makes think that mom and dad may need a brief English lesson as well.