On Second Thought...

I'm a huge number cruncher. The better part of a decade as a single mom has basically left me as a paranoid mess when payday rolls around. From the moment those hard earned dollars hit my account, me and my calculator end up conjoined twins for the next 48 hours. I pull up all the bills (I love e-bill) and start punching away at the numbers. I figure out what's due, what gets paid, and what can wait. If I'm being honest, I typically start this process the night before and then start it all over again once I've confirmed the actual deposit amount.

Last night after tucking Lena in, I started on my usual pre-payday rant. Normally, James just sits there quietly and plays his games, because he knows that in the end, I've already planned it all out and there's not much input he needs to make. When he first moved in last year, it was certainly a surprise quirk of mine that took a little getting used to. But once the bills are paid, I don't say a word about how he spends the remaining money, so it's not really that big of deal for him.

Last night however, as I ran through the rather long list, his whole face sorta just fell. He could see his pay check sailing away before it was ever in the bank. On top of the regulars, Lena needs a hair cut, we need to get Paige a birthday present, and we have to pick up our contribution to family birthday dinner for next weekend. That alone is no small order with the entire small country of family members that I come with. 

Today, on lunch, as I sat typing out the penny for penny play by play via text, I stopped myself. I erased the whole thing that had taken me a good 10 minutes to punch in and just typed, we'll figure it out when we get home instead. I recalled the sad and forlorn look on his face last night and prevented myself from letting my financial OCD ruin a day that's been going good for him so far. I still feel the twinge to hammer out the details, but for now I'll do him a favor and control my bad habit.